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teenage romance according to gen-z- by jenna harris

recollection

Updated: Feb 19, 2021

By Jenna Harris


For Gen Z, it’s inevitable to have our opinions and beliefs be affected in some way, shape, or form by the media- from movies to music and most prominently, social media. In coming of age movies dated before the 2000s, this idea of what “teenage romance” was had consisted of all in-person encounters- locking eyes with someone in public and feeling butterflies, having someone walk up and ask you for your number in public, even having a boy meet your parents as he picks you up for your first date. In current times, most teenagers can find themselves getting butterflies just by receiving a simple Snapchat from someone they have never even met in person, but still, feel a “connection” with. If we fantasize about having that type of whirlwind teenage romance like we used to see in the movies, why do we continue to settle for less? Why should the ever-changing norms of teenage communication affect our standards, expectations, and the overall idea of what a teenage romance should be?


Comparing the differences in teenage dating norms between then and now leads to the question- should the idea of what a teenage romance is evolve as we do?



In the years before cell-phones existed and social media wasn’t a thing, teenagers were left to create their own idea of what a teenage romance should be like. During those times, teens had better values, greater morality, and higher expectations without the media constantly showing them what other teenagers’ relationships are like. Now, on every social media platform, it’s extremely common to scroll upon posts of other teens displaying their relationships. This can easily lead to impressionable teenagers feeling as though they too should be in a relationship like others their age. For many, social media can spark a sense of desperation to fulfill their hopes of finding a boyfriend or girlfriend.


With our already high expectations of what our romance should be like from watching those teenage romance movies made in the pre-cellphone era, combined with our growing desperation to get into a relationship to experience all that a teenage romance could be, our standards tend to drop lower and lower in order to make a relationship more obtainable. This can eventually lead to us gripping on to whatever attention and or affection we can get. But when we are given less than what we expected, it’s easy to cover up our disappointment and assume that maybe this is just all that a teenage romance must be. In reality, teenage romance in the current times could be so, so much more.


I asked Gen Z for their current definition of romance, via Instagram polls. Some responses emphasized love:


“Someone who loves me for all of me and shows me they feel that way through their actions” (@amanahgracee)

“Unconditional love” (@valeska_kiresbom)

“The strongest bond between 2 people that represents love and commitment” (@gg_8675309)


While others focused more on feelings:


“It can be strong but sometimes it fades away. It’s like a flower. It can grow, wilt, and revive.” (@_saigecooke_)

“Romance is whatever gives you those butterflies and makes you feel tingly in your heart” (@mimiicarr)

“The underlying and instinctual feeling that we get to give or making loving gestures” (@sincerely.aray)

“A special feeling/connection that you have with someone you love” (@jason_arellano_)

“Feeling like nothing can go wrong when you’re with them” (@joey10arellano)

“Quality time, sharing the same giddy smile, beach walks, forehead kisses” (@_.rubycarr._)

“Doing anything & everything you can to make the other person happy & feel valued” (@lyndsey.lacey)


One expressed a less positive thought:


“In this generation romance is dead” (@ayyolesslie)


Lastly, I asked a millennial for her definition of romance, and how she would say her idea of romance has changed from when she was a teenager to now.


“Romance to me is simply thoughtfulness. Thinking of your partner and what makes them smile, laugh, and be happy. I used to think it was grand gestures and rose petals, trips, and plans. Although of course, those can be nice. Now it’s forehead kisses and dancing in the kitchen. The simple things matter so much more.” Diana Delcambre (@darthdeeter)



Article by Jenna Harris


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